i'm sorry :(
it's just.. a lot of stuff happened in the past couple of days and i feel over-stretched and overwhelmed.

do you know that feeling? when you've made up your mind to change for the better and you're ready to go all out to reach your targets this time, but your past deeds catch up with you and trip you and mess up all your plans. it may be momentary in the big picture, but it was enough to make me feel very dejected for a while. i usually hate wallowing in self-pity but this time i kinda got carried away i guess? been wondering if it's really worth it to be so stubborn about staying on. is it worth all the fights? all the frustration at not being able to make them understand? the decline from being a pretty much straight-As (ok i got Bs for chem and bio but i'm wallowing in self-pity so everything comes out pretty exaggerated) student to a mediocre one?

i am tired. and running away sounds like a good idea. i want to be irresponsible for awhile.

but i dont want to make my parents any more disappointed than they already are.

dear God, please bless me with the strength and the wisdom i need to go thru this.
go to, then; your considerate stone.
7:02 PM
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